First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
