clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can I color on your dick again?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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