wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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