Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
