Plan B is the new Plan A
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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