maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
