wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
