I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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