So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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