I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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