somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
