I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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