Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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