love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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