it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
