i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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