She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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