i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
