Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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