dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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