it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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