sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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