I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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