How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
