Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am one with the molecules
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
