he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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