get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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