I wish you could order shots online.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
