I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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