I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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