if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
