why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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