oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she peed on how many people?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
