I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
