Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let's get the cat blown out
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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