quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
