Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
