how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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