do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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