i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
