Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
