Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
