Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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