I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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