Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
