Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
