I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Randomize
