he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
