Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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