Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
