Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
